Bottom of my barrel

Every once in a while i seem to get a little lost in self pitty thinking Medical school is gonna be the death of me!  even though i am just a supporter of all this education and not the one actually racking my brain 24 hrs a day,  this process has been emotionally straining on me to say the least.  Most days/weeks/months i do fine but as a typical part things some times this life feels a little to lonely, sometimes no matter how many times I pray in a day that void of needing someone close to do things with, have adult conversation with is still there. I do however continually find comfort in prayer, whether it is just the constant reminder i get from my father in heaven that he understands my feelings, that he loves me, or the huge blessing i have of a wonderful husband (who brought me home these beauties!)

 that when he can (and by when he can i mean not obligated to be at the hospital) does all he can to make up for my lack of friends here and although all he ever wants to do after a 34 hour shift is sleep..he will somehow find the energy to go for a walk with me and the boys or take me out on the town..i am so lucky to have him! It is amazing to me how raising children and keeping a family strong while in Medical school often seems like a death wish, but at the end of the day it ALWAYS is a greater blessing.  I dont know how i would survive without my two babies. Sure i might actually be able to get a job and meet people and make friends that way but no friend is gonna give me monkey hugs while i cry on a bad day, and i know for a fact NO friend is going to cuddle with me when im to nervous/freaking myself out to sleep at night when seth is on call! haha I just realized i totally contradicted myself but oh well...if you dont get my point at least you got to see my beautiful flowers:)